Hi, I'm Pregnant (again)
Hey friends! Wow I’m pregnant AGAIN haha! Let’s just say it came as a complete shock for hubby and I! I mean I literally almost had a panic attack. Not to mention, I tested right around my birthday and Father’s Day. It’s funny because my husband’s name means father of many. Here we are having SO many children haha. Babies are definitely a blessing but what happens when you feel like your cup is. . . overfilled. I’m sharing a few things I battled mentally when I found out I was pregnant and how I overcame those feelings.
Hot Girl Summer
Y’all I had so many goals for 2022. It was THE YEAR in my head. I turned 30 in June and I knew this was the perfect time to show out for hot girl summer. I legit found a salad called hot girl summer salad LOL. I lost about 15-20 pounds just to get this bawdy in a 2 piece LOL. My hubby took me down to Miami to have a ball and a ball was HAD!
We came back home and realized Flo never came cue random music in the background. I took a test a few days after we returned and Y’ALL omg it was positive (pictured below). I literally bought like 5 because I couldn’t believe my eyes lol. I, Antoinette, will be a mom of FOUR children. Not to mention, I have experienced a miscarriage. I’ll never forget my baby that didn’t make it here.
My crazy goals of being this HOT wife and mama went out the door. I literally couldn’t believe it. I couldn't get out of bed most days because I was numb. Someone asked why didn’t I get an abortion? This is something I don’t believe in for myself. I had to come to the realization that this is my new normal. I thankfully have a therapist and she helped as much as she could. However, it was always this void in my heart that couldn’t come to terms that I was indeed pregnant. Honestly my hands are FULL with my 3 children. So much so, I planned to inquire about nanny services. The “Stay at home mom” title didn’t appease me anymore. I wanted to finally find ME and what I loved again. I know that was a bit selfish of me, however, I can’t be the best mom I wanted to be if I was constantly putting everyone before me.
So what did I do to cope with those feelings? I started praying, affirming, and dreaming. Yes, I know, easier said than done. However, I had to start repeating to myself, why not ME? I was made for more and regardless if I have 1 or 20 children, I can do this. I know what you’re thinking, where is your husband in all of this? Keep reading I’ll share his thoughts as well. My daily prayer became I am MORE than a conqueror. I was made for such a time as this. I can do anything through Christ Jesus. I started affirming to myself by saying I AM a great mother, I AM bigger than my fears, I AM made for this. My dreams of having just one more became joyful rather than stressful. The mind can really believe anything you make it. It’s all about shifting your mindset to believe certain things and canceling the doubts and fears.
Self Reflection
There is so many women out there who are dying to experience this beautiful journey as a mom, naturally. I had to really take a look in the mirror and confirm that I was chosen to be fruitful. While it’s not easy to do so, it has to be done.
My husband has been here by my side every step of the way and I’m thankful for him. He has really helped this process go smoother. My first trimester was tough on both of us. I had to go to the ER for almost 7 hours to figure out why I was having excruciating chest pains. We found out baby finale was doing fine but I had a cyst (not related to the chest pains). My midwife assured me this is very common and I took it easy the next couple of weeks.
I will also say I’m thankful for the healthcare here, I felt a lump under my armpit and immediately spoke up. I had an ultrasound and biopsy done shortly after sharing this uncomfortable lump. Thanks be to God it was NOT cancerous. I’m sharing this because we ALL need to learn to speak up when anything is going wrong. This is why Self Reflection is so important. That one look in the mirror in the morning should be confidently looked everywhere.
Let’s Talk about Fun, BABY!
Ok, now that the heavy portion of my mental health has been shared, let’s get to the fun baby! I, Antoinette, will be a mom of FOUR. I am low key excited to see how this journey goes. I can’t wait for the baby snuggles. I also accepted the fact that a home birth would be best for me. Not only is it more cost effective, but I did it already HAHA. Musa and I delivered Maverick on the bedroom floor. I was able to walk around and recover much quicker. I’m praying this birth is just as easy as it was with Maverick. I found a BLACK midwife and a BLACK doula. I’m proud to be an advocate for black women during this process. If you’re wondering cost breakdown and why I decided on a home birth in more detail, just wait for that post soon.
I truly hope you enjoyed this post and those out there who may have had a surprise pregnancy like myself, don’t forget you were made for this. You’re more than a Conqueror. We’ll be sharing the sex of the baby this month as well. Any guesses? Comment below :) . Do you like newsletters? Get a weekly newsletter from me. I promise I will not spam you! Subscribe here If you’re not, Follow me on Instagram and Tik Tok.
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Photos by Dia Rhodes
Xoxo,
Antoinette F-M
— Meet Antoinette —
God fearing Wife, Mother of 3.5, Social Media Manager, and Blogger. Blogs about her passion with social media, journey through motherhood and wifehood, sharing her testimonies, and honest product reviews.
